Even before moving here, we had noticed a lack of visibility for LGBTQIA+ people in town and the surrounding area. As we settled in, I was surprised that our living our quiet, unremarkable daily lives was enough to attract attention—both supportive and derogatory—in the neighborhood. An aspect of our identity that had, for us, become a minor background note was suddenly put front and center by many around us.

Then in May 2022, news spread of a couple’s Progress Pride Flag being stolen from their front porch in nearby Lancaster, while another couple had a hateful message scrawled on the sidewalk.

The dithering over whether we should be more visible was over. If LGBTQIA+ folk were being targeted in Lancaster city, and we were already dealing with intolerance, we needed to put effort toward positive change. Most visibly, we decided to fly the Progress Pride Flag. Later, after seeing them fly across a bridge in Iceland, we updated to the Intersex-Inclusive Progress Pride Flag.

My hope for our flag has been (and continues to be) that it:

• Serves as a beacon of light for anyone who passes by and feels alone or unwanted. There are queer, trans, lesbian, gay, intersex, asexual, aromantic, bisexual, and other gender and sexual minorities here in town and in every place. While the words used to self-describe have changed (and will continue to change), people like us have always existed and always will.
• Communicates that being an LGBTQIA+ person is not something shameful and that it shouldn’t have to be hidden away. Many queer people are in unsafe situations and must, for physical or emotional security, hide their identity. This isn’t a feature of being gay or trans or two-spirit, but is instead the result of intolerance going unchecked. The message of Pride is just that: We are not ashamed nor is our queerness shameful.
• Advocates for continuing progress toward equal rights for all people. There have been several significant steps forward for the legal rights of the LGBTQIA+ community in many places. That progress has been uneven, and it is continually being defended against those who wish to undo it.
• Honors the history of the LGBTQIA+ community, especially those who gave their lives in the quest of being able to live authentically as themselves.
• Adds a bit of color to our neighborhood and makes someone smile when they see it.

These are my reasons. These are my hopes. While we hope our sharing speaks to many, we know our words can never speak for others who fly any form of Pride flag. We are imperfect allies. Our perspectives and understandings of the infinite variations of gender identity and expression and sexuality are limited by our own experiences and egos. We hope that we never stop wanting to hear the stories of others, nor lose the ability to feel empathy and compassion for their experiences.

We invite you to Send Us a Note about why you do (or don’t) fly, and what it means (or meant) to you when you come across a rainbow flag.